I’m A Mom
One argument often levied against the the concept of patriarchy is that women contribute as often and as enthusiastically to a sexist society as do men. This is true, of course; we live in a world populated by Dawn Edens, Elisabeth Hasselbecks, and Beverly LaHayes. If I were a conspiracy-minded sort (and let’s be honest, I am), I’d have to seriously consider the idea that “The View” was maliciously formed by a conclave of suit-clad honkies, determined to represent women as badly as possible. In fact, let’s run with that: “The View” is a detestable program that functions primarily to make women seem trivial and foolish and Barbara Walters look saintly in comparison.
What Sherri Shepherd said about the shape of the earth and the fact of evolution is really a topic for another day. I’m more interested in the insidious justification that Hasselbeck later provided her:
HASSELBECK: I don’t think you have to learn to be perfect either… you’re just yourself. I thought you handled that so well yesterday. You said `You know I actually, my mind is full of what’s my son doing right now, what am I going to feed him for dinner, I’m a mom.’ Like I think that’s completely fine to say `You know what, today I don’t care if the earth is round or flat. I may not care tomorrow, I just wanna know that…’
“I’m a mom.” While men certainly identify themselves in relation to their children, it’s rare for fatherhood to actually be considered a primary role. “I’m a dad” might be an argument for increased personal responsibility or even for political reaction, but no man could ever use his status as a father as an excuse for ignorance. On non-political sites heavily populated with women, such as Pogo, screen names like “JeffsMom143″ are common. I recently looked at the list of players for some sort of hideously garish puzzle game and counted fifteen out of about twenty handles which directly referred to the player’s status as a mother. How often do you see someone on X-Box Live with the screen name “JennysDad”?
This is a core feature of patriarchy: women are not expected to have an independent identity. Not too long ago, this was legally enforced by forbidding women from owning property, voting, working in positions of authority and prestige, etc. It’s become generally untenable to insist that women subjugate themselves to their husbands, so most of these legal controls have been eliminated. Instead of subsuming her identity into her husband’s, a woman is expected to instead devote herself to her children. This expectation underlies the so-called “mommy wars” where the interests of stay-at-home mothers are somehow purported to be at odds with those of working women. While the effects of a ‘career-minded’ woman on her children has been the topic of innumerable clucking tongues and whispered innuendoes, few have seriously debated whether it may serve children better if their father stayed at home.
The argument for women serving men is weak and always has been, and the explicit expectation for women to do so collapsed rather quickly under the onslaught of liberal philosophy. However, the concept of women as the primary source of nurture and progeneration is ancient and not so easily cast aside. It isn’t a coincidence that so many arguments for “traditional” sex roles depict men as infantile savages incapable of fending for themselves. Nobody wants to leave a baby unprotected, after all.
Raising a child is certainly admirable, but it cannot be the purpose of one’s life. It does not excuse or permit a lack of intellectual vigor. But this excuse is not an individual problem — it’s caused by external forces, when a woman is driven to sacrifice personal development for procreation but is forced to justify her resulting immaturity. This episode should engender sympathy for Shepherd, but nothing but disgust for Hasselbeck. She knows what she’s doing.
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