BREAKING! MUST *SQUEEZE THE JUICE*

The McCain web ads are clearly either the work of a leftist mole or Todd Palin’s fishing buddy, who has business cards which read “‘Dump-Truck’ Johnson, Web-Mastering & Motorboat’s Repaired.” I work at a small creative agency in Portland, and if our graphic designer tried to pass off something this bad he’d be thrown out the window.

I guess there’s no such thing as an attractive banner sporting McCain’s weird leer and yellow teeth, but that’s not the only thing wrong with it:

• It looks like someone took an older ad and mangled it. “Compliance Fund” is awkwardly crammed under the McCain/Palin logo, and it’s a bit off center.
• Also, the sudden transition from a flaggy textured background to a gradient just looks fucking awful.
• “Compliance Fund?” (No big surprise here: it’s a campaign finance law loophole. Walnuts is running out of cash.)
• The “Invest in Victory/Donate $50″ chunk isn’t even fucking centered in the gradient section. That abrupt border might have been sort of okay if it had been.

Obamz’ web ads aren’t as good as his print material, but they’re still significantly better than this trash. Palin actually fares worse in these ads; bereft of the sexy-librarian gestalt, she just sort of looks like she’s storing food in her cheeks. Next time I see the “The Original Mavericks” ad featuring both of them, I’ll grab it.